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| Saturday, May 5th, 2012 | | 12:36 am |
This semester is done, and it was a super stressful one. My room mate who I've been living with for 4 years moved out. I was trying to find a room mate for 6 months or more, basically stressing out constantly, trying to decide if I should move to Philadelphia or not. I had a hard time concentrating on school, and I was completely lost. I think the concept of 3D modeling is just lost on me, computer programs are lost. I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I'll never be animator. I took too long to pursue it, now I'm too old and these younger kids are animating circles around me. At least as far as 3d modeling goes, I'm definitely useless. The maya program makes me feel like a helpless old guy. The first semester I was so excited about these projects I had to do, I would go to the computer lab and work on them forever. This semester, I dreaded my projects and just handed in the bare minimum. Basically, between the post office for the past 4 years and the last 10 months of stressing out about room mates and apartments, I'm completely burnt out and I'm ready to give up. Now the problem is, I've been thinking about this animation thing for so long, I don't know what else to do. Animation was in the back of my head forever, I was embarrassed to say anything. I would love to go back in time and stop what I was doing half way through college and yell WAIT! I want to animate! Or even do anything artistic. Oops! Messed up. So I guess essentially, I don't know what to do with my life now because there's nothing else I want to do. In better noose, I found a room mate. But now I'm wondering if I should have opted to move to Philadelphia. (Of course I can't make decisions about anything) I started an art project I've been thinking about for a while today and it worked out pretty well. I made two drawings and everyone seemed pretty impressed with them. If you're attending anthrocon, I'll probably put a bunch of these drawings in the art auction. Though, out of the two of them someone already offered to buy one so they might never make it! | | Tuesday, February 21st, 2012 | | 1:08 am |
The magic of going back to school sort of dissolved this semester. I'm taking 3 classes: Composite (a node based program that composites things, its super glitchy and confusing), Maya 2 (I'm not super big on 3d modeling, I'd rather draw) and Intro to Digital Media. Eh. Boring class, weirdo professor that I can't read. Some info is interesting. Some of the reason I'm not as into it is that i realize i may not finish. I didn't expect this degree to take so long, and I don't think i can pull off the whole Work part time/School part time/Live on my own thing for too long. The lack of health insurance is sort of in the back of my mind, luckily I'm pretty healthy and I've never broken anything before (knock on all the wood ever). Any illnesses i get are usually stress related. Also with the room mate situation (my room mate moves out in May and i am yet to find a replacement) I've either got to A) move into a 1 bedroom which might cause me to lose my mind b) move back in with parents, c) move to Philadelphia d) find a random room mate on craigslist Some problems. I don't think I live by myself. Loneliness closes in on me like a fog. I've house sat before by myself and I did not enjoy it at all! I like alone time, but not being alone. Basically, If I live by myself I'll never leave the house. My parents are crazy, though i get along with them WAY better than i used to in the past, who knows what would happen if i moved back in. I think they appreciate me more that I've moved out, but I also feel like i cause problems when I'm there. My mom talks shit about my dad to me, i tend to defend my dad for no reason, I don't know why. Not to mention the house looks like a bomb hit it, with my dad grudgingly doing dishes every few hours (but not well). My mom falls asleep on the couch at 6pm my dad is home all the time. Philadelphia! I can move into a friend's house and pay way less rent for a way smaller room and possibly meet a bunch of people. I'm afraid to move! I've lived in NJ for my whole life and I'm super used to it. I've never lived in a city besides Trenton for a year. Maybe I'll have more opportunities in Philly. I'll just miss NJ and everything. I've essentially got nothing keeping me here or anywhere, I can do anything. I don't care about finishing the degree I guess but I'd like to take Maya 3 and TV 122, which would be the next fall semester. And I actually sort of like my job right now, even though its crappy by any standards. For once I'm not looking to escape from where I am and it seems I'm being forced to. Irony is the shackles of youth! I can't make decisions. | | Friday, February 10th, 2012 | | 1:12 am |
I keep having these reoccurring dreams where i almost end up doing a task that I did in the past and at this point in times seems impossible and i can't imagine how I did it. I remember doing it in the past and thinking "Wow, how in the world did I even do that? I don't think I'd be able to do it again." And then i almost reach a point of no return where I have to do it again. This may sound confusing! So I'll explain, there are three main tasks where this happens. One is a room full of lasers, and a series of rooms full of lasers. I somehow got through all the rooms without getting hit by the lasers. I'm not really sure how this worked, or if there are puzzles or something that i passed, but it was a really large amount of rooms that got progressively harder and harder (Think Metroid-esque plus the base zones of Contra) and i somehow got through them. The only thing i remember is the first room where there are two lasers on the wall (or rather they look like hand dryers that will shoot lasers at you if you do something wrong.) I'm in this room thinking how I could never do that again, and I realize i need to leave right away otherwise I will have to do it again. The next scenario is a series of caves with rapids going through them. I had to navigate a raft through some really ridiculous rapids inside some blue caves, some of the rapids are HUGE. I often dream about insanely huge waves. Same thing happens, i realize if i go any further, I'll have to do it all again. The third scene is one in an extremely old building, I think i work there or go to school there. In the basement, there's a serious of rooms with sub basements and more rooms, a maze of endless rooms that are all hellishly lit. I somehow got through all those rooms once, and it was not a fun experience. It was extremely scary and dangerous. In this dream I am standing in the first room, which is the first basement with a bunch of random falderal scattered around. This room is pretty well lit too, but its lit in the way you'd expect hell to be lit, firy lava like. I realize that if i go any further, I might get lost and end up going through the endless hell rooms again. These aren't really nightmares, they're really interesting dreams. I don't really have nightmares per se. Pretty much any horrible things that happen in my dreams, i somehow manage to enjoy them. | | Wednesday, January 25th, 2012 | | 10:37 pm |
It's been a year since i worked at the post office, but i still have nightmares about it. I still stress out and think about it constantly. It's hard not to, mail trucks are everywhere. It's hit the point where i forgot how terrible it was and I'm having second thoughts about leaving. Of course, it took a year for that to happen, and if i really think about it, imagine myself walking in there and having a route to case, i remember why I left. I know what hindsight bias is, i have a degree in PSYCH remember? Psychology is just a bunch of complex terms for obvious things, (like the saying Hindsight is 20/20.) It's like a bad relationship where you meet your ex and everything is cool again, you wonder why it didn't work out in the first place. Then you start dating again and remember why it didn't work out in the first place. I'm just a little bit jealous of everyone my age who seems to have settled into a craft that they are, at this point, good at and have experience in. What did I learn at the post office? People are afraid of postal employees because they know they're crazy. They're right, they are crazy. I'm fearless and I worked with a lot of shitty people. I have experience working with shitty people and in a high stress environment, so now i can get a job working with shitty people in a high stress environment because i have experience in that field. Awesome. I miss everyone from the post office. I had nothing against most of the people i worked with, but i only saw them for an hour a day if even that. Usually i was so pissed about being there that i didn't talk to anyone at all. That took place the last 2 years i was there. Within the first year when i didn't mind working there i liked everyone. I never really hung out with anyone, but they were ok people. They were characters! I can't help feeling like i abandoned everyone. I can go back and visit, but i don't really want to go back and visit until I'm doing something i can say was worth quitting over. I mean, I'm attending community college and i have a part time job as a taste tester. I guess the fact that i don't want to off myself every morning was worth quitting, but i can't really say that. Most of these people don't understand things like that, they respond to "Steady job" "benefits" "Family with kids" "house", i don't care about any of these things. BTW, thanks Obama for giving us all free health care. I'm thinking about taking a bunch of accounting classes over the summer. I'm thinking about eating a sausage that's so big, it will shape my body like a sausage. I like this whole "work 4 years somewhere, save money and then quit and chill for a year" thing. I hope i can do this again sometime. Current Mood:  flirty | | Thursday, January 19th, 2012 | | 2:04 am |
I'm obsessed with numbers and lists.
My job has a numbering system, all panelists are given a number. They go in order, so whatever your number is depends on your "seniority", though unlike the post office seniority really means nothing here. My panelist number is 540. That means I was the 540th person hired! I've been working there 4 months and they are up to number 604 already. There are still a few people from the 100s, a few 200's, more 300s, a bunch of 400s, and obviously the 500s are the most prevalent. My one friend is number 323, she got hired a year ago. The place has a super high turn over rate, already it seems most people have number after me. I've met number 545, 541, and 549, but i haven't met anyone else in the 540 range. I know 534 and 538, 506, 502, 515, 526, and also I'm always in panels with 552, 575, 566, 562. Where are all the people in between? They disappeared! They have a stack of cards of people that never claimed their numbers. I'm a fucking psycho, I live for stuff like this. I love numbers, i love memorizing people's numbers and seeing lists of numbers, staring at lists. I used to obsess over bus numbers in middle school, i wanted to know what bus everyone was on, and at one point i had figured out everyone in my grade. If i could have made lists of everyone on every bus, i would have. If i could get a job charting out bus routes, i would. I knew it was weird so i was mega discreet about my weird obsessions. Furaffinity has a ranking system, www.popufur.com, and i love it. It's just an organized list of everyone based on how many watchers they have and how many people they are watching (I think that's it?). I love seeing everything organized, seeing the top people, all these numbers! Obviously i'm like on page 90 of that thing (I rank #5555, as of 6/10/11, it hasn't been updated in a while. I had 665 watchers back then, now i have 943. Nine is a red, 4 is a darker red. 3 is blue. ) I like that rank, 5555. My address is 111, i love that number. I used to really like addresses, but the post office kind of killed that on me. Now i don't care about them. I memorize numbers well because they all have colors, and i memorize the colors. 540, 5 is beige, 4 is red, 0 is no color at all. 6 is dark grey/close to blue. 7 is off white. 2 is orange. 3 is blue, 8 is black, 9 is lighter red than 4. I really like numbers. I think i get this from my dad, he has notebooks full of random numbers. It's some sort of listomania i guess. My dad is weird. My student id number is 0516596. I memorize that because it looks like THING to me, 0516 and then 596, they both end with 6's and start with 5's, 6 is a dark number, 5 is light. 0 and 1 don't really have colors, 9 is red. Yeah, i don't know. It works in my brain, maybe not yours. | | Friday, December 30th, 2011 | | 3:59 am |
2011
2011 has been one of the best years I've had. EVER. Probably rare in the face of this economical situation here, but I've had a lot of shittyness in the past. This is the first year where i was like "fuck it, I'm doing what i want with my life, fuck what everyone else thinks or what the consequences might be" Apparently everyone else thought it was a good idea too. I finally quit the post office for almost a year now. I still have nightmares about it, but I was able to save a bunch of money so now i have freedom to fool around. And now with this current job (which is beyond easy and going splendidly well KNOCK ON WOODY WOODPECKER'S DICK) i can fool around even longer! My room mate is moving out, this isn't great for me, but it's great for her. She's getting married and getting out of her terrible job, so hopefully this is a turn of events for her too. Hey, it's hard to be happy when you live with a depressed person, on both ends of the spectrum here. This does mean i have to find another room mate, I'm not super worried. School! Yeah, it's going well, I'm liking it. I like my teachers, the people I've met, the classes, I've gotten all A's without even trying. (Well, i tried, but it didn't feel like i was doing work) My art has improved a ton, and I've met a bunch of awesome people and awesome artists! I edited videos, I've been trying to learn how to dance (break dance, popping and locking stuff), I've been improving with accordion and trying to learn banjo. I repaired someone's accordion successfully! I got on a poster at my school WITH MY FURSUIT ON. http://i.imgur.com/D6SWW.jpgI feel like I've done more productive stuff this year than any other year I've been alive. Goals for next year: try to obtain some accordions to repair. Draw some comics I've had in mind. Be more organized! (I've got a huge problem with this, My life is a mess) Get a second job. Suck more dicks. (Just kidding) take better care of my car. (Hopefully DIY repair) learn to cook some damn food. (I hate my kitchen, I'm sorry!) Make money off art somehow. (I've got a few ideas) Suck even more dicks. | | Wednesday, December 21st, 2011 | | 11:50 pm |
I'm really stressed out about the future. This degree is going to take me 3 more semesters, at only 2 classes each semester! That's magically long. I only have 7 classes to go. I hope i don't run out of money by then, though I guess i can always try to get a better job than i have now. I wish i could just like, relax and enjoy the moment, but I'm always thinking about the future and the past. I'm having a really good time in school! This past year has definitely been the best year I've ever had. It's just easy to feel like I have no stability. Stability is overrated perhaps. I wonder if I'll ever own a house, or mow my own lawn or do any of that stuff. I'm okay with not ever doing that, not ever owning a house, having kids, having a family. I should stop trying to figure out the future because it's too unpredictable and plans never work out. Like for example, if someone told me I'd be a furry and have a fursuit 5 years ago, or that I'd be attending community college 5 years after graduating from a four year college, I would have said they were crazy. Tentatively, I'm taking 3 classes this coming semester, followed by 2 classes FAll 2012, and then finally Spring 2013 my last 2 classes. (TENTATIVELY maya 4 and Capstone where i do whatever the fuck i want) The Capstone class is both terrifying and exciting. I had a dream a few days ago that these two ladies in my Zbrush (digital sculpting program) got into a huge fistfight. When i went to my last class monday, it turned out these two ladies had gotten into a huge screaming fight over the weekend during lab hours! The thing is, one lady is 38 and the other is in her 50's. They are both nuts, and i sort of feel both bad for them and impressed by them. Being an older student i can relate to the pressure of being out of place, though i look a lot more in place than they do and i tend to pick up the material easier. I am impressed with their drive to go back to school and learn a bunch of computer programs at their ages, but at the same time i sort of feel they are desperately grabbing at something they will never get. I question what their motives are, since it seems neither one of them is very company-friendly. Not that I am team friendly, I may be just grabbing desperately at something myself. The one lady, 38yr old, is full of crazy stories which i am inclined to believe because she is so crazy herself. Also, they stay pretty consistent. The other lady is an ex-biker with a line of crazy husbands and crazy stories also, which i tend to believe because she's so crazy herself also. Besides these two, there is literally NO drama among the students i deal with. Not what you would expect from a bunch of 18-21 year olds at a community college! But the truth is, the older ladies cause all the drama. Despite not having the right requirements for the class, i finished it pretty successfully i think, and before a lot of people. After this degree, i think I'll just try to get a job for 4 years and then get another degree. | | Thursday, November 3rd, 2011 | | 2:58 am |
I'm so fucking bad with computers it's embarrassing. I have a mac, i don't even know how to back up the files, i don't even know what type of mac it is. If someone asked me, i'd be like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm like that with a lot of stuff, i can play bass but if you ask me what kind of bass or bass amp i have, I'm lost. I can drive, but don't ask me about cars or how they work. I sort of get how the accordion works, you can ask me about that. There's also nothing electrical going on in there. Once electricity is placed into the picture, I'm lost. What do i know about? I know about food and nutrition because I've researched it a fuck ton. I sort of know how to draw because I've been doing it for years. I can name every genital piercing. I can play bass, accordion, drums, guitar. All this stuff is sort of just useless. My psychology degree was a giant waste of time. I'm not afraid to admit this. If I hadn't gotten it, I'd probably be going to school for free right now. My DIGITAL ARTS AND ANIMATION DEGREE is going really well. I like my professors, they like me (I think?). I'm taking only 2 classes, but they are basically extensions of what i do on a regular basis. One is zbrush (a digital sculpting class, it's like drawing in 3d) and one is figure drawing (I draw all the time, just not humans). I know a bunch of people in my classes, i even started a club!! The club is working out (no thanks to my leadership skills, but still working out none the less) During the meeting, our advisor (also my zbrush professor) said she was becoming head of the department in two years. I said "Oh, i better get a masters by then so i can become a professor here." She replied with "yes, get your masters and I'll hire you". This made me feel pretty good. Then I made a joke about starting class 10 minutes late, she cringed. I've actually made it to class on time almost every day, same with work! I'm hoping my "late for everything" campaign has finally dwindled to halt. I'd love to get my masters in some type of digital media arts thing, the problem is it's taking me so long to get this degree. I only have 5 classes to go, but it's going to take me 2 or 3 semesters . At least i'll get to be a college student next halloween. (Unless i give this all up and get a job) Anyway, i think i figured out what to do for the rest of my life. | | Thursday, October 20th, 2011 | | 6:11 pm |
Things aren't going bad. I like my two classes I'm taking a lot. I sort of wish my professors wouldn't compliment me, it fills my head with things. I can't take compliments, only insults. I was expecting to be done with this animation degree soon but i guess it's going to take the full 2 years, even though i only need like 4 more classes. I started a club at my school and a bunch of people are really into it. We're supposed to make our own 2d animation. (All my classes are 3d animation based) My part time job is going pretty good (despite the parking ticket i got today. Hmm, 27 dollars, i make 8 dollars an hour, 4 hours. Yeah, i made 6 dollars today. Bummer. ) This job is easy and i draw the whole time, so i wouldn't expect to make any more than that. I like the job, but I'm so used to being angry at my last job that i just can't help but be angry at this one, prepared to tell someone off at the drop of a hat. I guess I'll always have this weird fringe anger problem. Thanks a lot USPS. There's also potential to move upwards, UNLIKE SOME JOBS. I would explain my new job, but i barely know what the hell is going on. They bring out samples, we have to choose which is more bitter/sweeter/saltier, something like that. Apparently I'm good at it. I sort of like it because i like bad tastes. I've eaten moldy food before. Another thing i realize from this job is that flavors sort of have pictures to me. Bitterness is beige/light yellow, it looks very jagged. Stuff tastes like certain colors. I almost wrote in one of the descriptions that something tasted red, but I realized they would have no idea what i was talking about. I turn 29 tomorrow. I wish i had a career i liked. Trying to learn how to break dance. Fuck. I start everything too late in life. | | Wednesday, July 13th, 2011 | | 4:45 am |
Writer's Block: Look into my crystal ball
I don't like to answer this question, because nothing I'm currently doing is anything i could have predicted five years before now. In fact, if someone told me what I'd be doing 5 years into the future of any given time in my life five years before now or more, I'd have told them they were crazy. | | Friday, July 8th, 2011 | | 3:44 pm |
I really hate all parodies of the "Got Milk" campaign.
(WARNING: THIS IS CROSSPOSTED FORM MY FURAFFINITY ACCOUNT, SO YOU MAY HAVE SEEN IT ALREADY AND I APOLOGIZE. I figured i'd put it here too and maybe get some other opinions, or no opinions at all. ) I'm so thorougly sick of these, and as the "got milk" campaign gets older and older, the parodies get weirder and more confusing. I don't even know if Milk still uses "Got milk?" commercials, any recent commercials I've seen have consisted of women in long flowey dresses drinking milk in their apartments. if you ask me, they need to bring back those age progression commercials where the nerdy preteens get bigger and bigger. http://youtu.be/0G6JymgFuswWhat really set me off about this was a cryptic black sign with white writing i saw recently on the side of the road, it said "GOT CHILDCARE?" and then a phone number. That's it! i'm not sure if it's meant to be funny or witty, or what! Or if people think the "got" thing just excuses them from writing anything substantial about themselves, like it's short hand for EVERYTHING. If I put "GOT" before whatever i'm selling, people will just get the point, and they'll appreciate the commercial parody, so they'll totally hire me. ( i would not hire this person to look after my kids! ) The first got milk commercial i remember was the Aaron burr http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLSsswr6z9Y from almost 20 years ago! Since then there's been a slew of parodies, "Got brains?, Got Albert?, Got Bovine Growth Hormone?, Got Christ? Got Blood?" All of them less funny than the one before. I think it really jumped shark when churches and weird youth groups started using it, "Got Salvation?" Got Jesus? Got Faith?" I consider this "got childcare" sign to be one of the worst and tasteless ones yet! The sign is just super weird, the paint is all drippy, the phone number looks squished and uncomfortable. And why would they be asking "got childcare"? As if someone is just sitting alone in their house with a bunch of kids and suddenly realizes they don't have childcare. I almost want to call them and say "YES I'VE GOT CHILDCARE THANKS FOR ASKING. ARE YOU DOING A SURVEY??" | | Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 | | 10:16 pm |
| | Tuesday, June 21st, 2011 | | 6:17 pm |
two shows.
My band played 2 shows this past weekend, one which was split with some very questionable acts, including my lead singer's offensive "stand up routine". The band playing after us pretty good. The show went alright, by any standards. If i had played this same show 3 years ago, i would have been completely stoked. 6 of us played this show. The second show was at an arcade type deal, i was surrounded by 16 year old girls who just stared at their cell phones the whole time we were playing. There was only 4 of us at this show, so it probably looked really weird to have a band with a drummer, guitarist, bassist, and xylophone player. Plus, the monitors on stage were off so everything sounded like crap to me. I think I've come to the end of my musical career, back when i started playing in bands in high school it was all i wanted to do. All my stories and characters revolved around bands! I couldn't imagine NOT being in a band, and it's been a giant failure ever since. It was different back then because there was group of us who were in the bands, we would all hang out. Now it seems like every parents buys their kids the most expensive equipment, everyone's in a band. The teeny-bopper girls and the "jocks" (though i hate that stereotype used in television, i'm going to use it just to show my point here) go to shows and play all this emotionally devoid crooning music that they heard on the radio i.e. Taking back sunday, Saves the day, Dashboard confessional. It's no longer a select group of "weird kids" with spiked hair. Music has become the new baseball practice. There's no scene either here, it's all about playing for yourself. Even the shit these kids say on stage, you'd think they were playing to an arena. They act like people know their stuff, you get a briefing on how to obtain each song before they play it. "This is a new song that's coming out on our album with comes out blah blah blah". It's like they have no personality, they just sort of go through the motions and do what they think they're supposed to. Not that i know what I'm doing, obviously I've some how put all the wrong ingredients together for this 'band' thing that i've been chugging along with for so long. No one has ever given a shit about any of my bands, none of my bands have even successfully recorded a cd (A really huge downer for me considering I have secret notebooks full of fake CD covers I've drawn. ) I would have been happy with just a cult following or something. I think my most successful band was probably my first band. We only played one show, it was experimental and I wrote all the songs. I had a song about someone throwing shoes at me and someone actually did throw shoes at me. Of course it was riddled with other problems: Lack of talent (I sucked at everything), My ADD gets in the way of me putting down a consistant song even though i have all these ideas, stoners, anxiety attacks, no licenses, no cars, no amps. It was totally fun and exciting though. Then i ended up in a band called Jerk Chicken, essentially a misfits rip-off band where the guitarist was way too loud and the lead singer, dare i say it, tone deaf. (I'm sorry if he some how comes across this, but it's true) Again, riddled with hideous problems, one of them being my lack of drum skills and terrible sounding drums. Eventually i was booted out, which was fine. That's when i started my current band! Calamity Menagerie. (What? How do you spell that?) We were cursed ever since we put the word "Calamity" in the band, and added "Menagerie", a word no one fucking knows the meaning of (Haven't you people heard of the Glass Menagerie? It's an eclectic group of wild animals) and no one can pronounce! (MEN ADJ URRR REE, not Menageray or Menogotwah) I think we single handedly ruined the NJ music scene. Our first show was a basement show, probably one of the least populated basement shows I've ever seen. It was a legendary show (New brunswick heavy hitters THE ERGS and HUNCHBACK) in a legendary basement in New brunswick run by our friend FISH (The Parlor), but somehow everyone seems to have forgotten we played it. We've been through countless drummers, 3 violin players, keyboard players, we've went from 10 people to 4 people to 8 people to 6 to 4 to 3 and then to 5 and 6 and then 4. We had an AWFUL tour i don't even want to talk about. I don't know what we did wrong, we just did it wrong. Basement shows came and went, even though i was friends with the NB crew, we were rarely asked to play shows with anyone. No one seemed to like us anyway, i think we were too much for them, or they thought we were a joke. I don't know, it just never caught on. We've recorded 1 cd with 11 songs, and it's only available on itunes, except for some really ghetto burned cd's we put together for the last two shows. I was all for putting out a cd, but our lead singer was sure that CD's are no longer profitable, itunes is the way to go. I'm sick of fighting for stuff i barely care about, so i gave in. Listening to the record now, it's mastered super low, the songs i like the least are the ones we spent the most time on. The others were recorded live off the floor and our drummer was sloppy as shit. (our current drummer is a lot better) Mostly everything i do either sounds awful or can't be heard at all, it's like i don't even exist. My back-up vocals seem to have disappeared, my baselines drowned out, my accordion off key or too low. At this point we've been doing it for 5 years, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of moving equipment, setting up, sound checking, playing to no one or people with their arms crossed, i'm just done. it's not fun anymore, it's become a chore. The music scene has been over saturated by generic shit and brodawgs that want to get laid or get famous. I just hope everything else I'm enjoying doesn't somehow to turn to shit, but i guess you can't really hold on to anything for too long, can you? | | Monday, June 20th, 2011 | | 1:49 am |
Today i talked to my dad on the phone, which is an unheard of act. I went most of my life never talking to my dad, i still barely know what he does for a living, or what he's done his whole life. He usually just watches TV. I sort of get him more now i guess as i got older, i feel like i could easily turn into him, but I'm going to try like hell not to. So anyway, today was father's day. I didn't buy him anything because a) i didn't know it was father's day until yesterday and b) there's really nothing i can get him. He doesn't do anything, he doesn't have hobbies. Except TV. I don't know. Anyway, i was talking to him and he was being all philosophical about what i should do with my life, unfortunately it's a little too late, I've already thought about things to the point where I've figured stuff like this out already. What else do you have to do when you walk around putting mail in boxes for 6 hours every day? Anyway, I was unsure about what classes to take next semester. Basically, I only need 3 semesters worth of classes, but they are set up in such a way that i would have to go for 4 semesters, unless i take classes i should take consecutively at the same time (in this case, MAYA 2 and MAYA 3). I'm reluctant to do this because Maya was hard for me, i didn't really get it until the end of the semester. My dad informed me that I can do anything i put my mind to, i just have to take extra time and figure everything out because that's what he's had to do at his job. Amazing! Where would he come up with this? As cheesy as it sounds, this made me feel better. Then he pawned the phone off on my mom in spite of me telling him not to. That conversation really went no where. | | Sunday, June 5th, 2011 | | 4:20 am |
Hi, livejournal. How are you? I've decided to post some serious stuff. It's 4am, and i had massive stomach cramps friday morning/thursday night. I figured it was from eating questionable chinese food, but after sleeping for several hours and waking up with the same stomach cramps, i thought I was dying. I decided throwing up was a great idea! However, i barely threw up anything! And that didn't help. Luckily, i still have some muscle relaxants from last year when i got stressed out and had stomach pains. Luckily they expire on the 8th of this month. Actually, this is the exact 1 year anniversary of my stress-induced stomach pains from last year! Isn't that really bizarre?? The muscle relaxants worked, luckily. I suppose this stomach pain was from stress also, which i have been stressing out lately. Last year it was work induced, but i have since quit my hideous job and went back to school for stupid shit. School doesn't really do anything, but i just wanted to do something when i quit my job and not be a bum. Right now i feel like a bum because I'm not working or going to school. I'm just hanging out and drawing weird things. I think was set these stomach pains off was the fact that a few hours before i was talking about my previous job and why i quit. THAT ALONE caused me to stress out enough to induce a physical reaction. Sheesh! I want to get another job, but i don't. Because it seems like all jobs suck and I'm suck of suckyness. It's it so wrong to do nothing for a while if i've got the funds to do it? | | Friday, October 22nd, 2010 | | 9:31 pm |
What in the fuckingly fluck
I have started a blogspot. What is called? Well, it's called snapneckduck.blogspot.com where I'm going to post my comics and crap. I guess I could post them here also? that may be an overload of comics for some. I figured since my previously hideous website will never be back up, i should just put my comics on a BLOGSPOT where I can rant about stuff Andy Griffith style and no one has to look at it. I put an old mop comic up first, i am super backlogged with comics. Should i put up one a week perhaps? I don't know anything about anything! I can't even decide what to wear in the morning, forget all these other hideous decisions! In case you forgot me, Hi! If you're one of my human friends that have held on all this time, unfortunately my livejournal has been taken over by furries, much like everything else on the internet. SORRY FOR INCOVNERNEONCE! | | Wednesday, December 16th, 2009 | | 7:01 pm |
Gargantuan blumber bees.
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow. Don't stop, till you get enough. Don't stop believing. Don't stop at the stop sign, get a ticket why don't you. Get more than you bargained for! Eat lima beans and shit waste paper baskets. One time I feel into the toilet and flushed all the way to the next century, which was 3 years away at the time, but I just stuck it out unlike some people who can't function without internet. Jesus was there but he was like, too busy, or something, to hang out. I felt like a waffle that wasn't frozen for long. The water I used was actually garbage water. (GARBAGE WATER YOU SAY? HAW HAW HAW) It's new town land time, it fell out of the window and into my neck fat. Don't believe the hype please, step backwards and let your arm fly upward towards the updraft. I'm a piece of bacon with no advent. The advent I had went 3 by 3 marching into the sea, every cloud i see is no kind of sickle country. Believe YOU ME. Get out before it's too late, hippies! BEATNICKS UNITE. One God. 2 dogs. 3 to get ready. Fortress of pain! I yapped and yapped until my yapper unyapped itself, and then I yaffed all over the yard with yippy larvae sticking to my yams. Then I yammered on about whatever yachtery there was to yibble at. Don't hate me because I'm in a trance. Get up and do that dance. Sip on water like the growing plants, hug the light and let your leaves enhance. SPREAD OUT YOUR WINGS AND FLY OVER THE ANTS. I got no right to be angry. I'm just mad that nothing works out. Everything is impossible. Nothing works itself out, I have no power. Let me explain my OCD: Things that have nothing to do with each other somehow coincide, but I know they don't. Because i think though do, then they often do. I can't even turn the bass up on my radio without adverse affects. I get stuff done when bad stuff happens. Everything gets changed around. Bad stuff always happens, or it will. If things get too good, I worry about what kind of mega bad thing is about to spring it's hideous fangs like a wolf waiting for 5 kinds of sheep to get home from school and slaughter the entire bus load and then dump his load all over the front of the bus after a nice meal. | | Monday, December 7th, 2009 | | 5:59 pm |
I signed up for Fursuit Bowling in Delaware, and I came across this public service anouncement from the moderator (who's name is "kitt3ns") "........However I need to talk about a not so good matter for a moment. The turning up of BDSM and certain bondage gear is unacceptable. The bowling alley is a public space and thankfully it wasn't seen by the non-furry crowds.
I need to make the request that If you're thinking about bringing any bondage or BDSM gear to the next furbowl then don't. Collars are fine, but being on a leash is not acceptable. If I catch anyone with said gear at any future events I will have to be more vigilant. I will ask you to put it away immediately or leave the event. <input ... ></input><input ... >" Oh FURRIES! IT'S LIKE A NEVER ENDING ADVENTURE!!!! This gives me a new awesome idea. BONDAGE BOWLING! I haven't really expanded on it yet, it's just an idea. | | Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 | | 10:41 pm |
Everything happens for a g-string.
Pandas everywhere are revolting on high trial. The cavities of our nation have been filled with fluoride, but not emptied out before hand. The BACTERIA IS SITTING IN THE SEATS WHILE WE FILL OUR MOUTHS WITH PUMPERNICKEL MUDPIE! It's not bread any more, and I can't stress this enough, it will cause more cavities, which will lead to MORE fluoride spills into our oceans. (The dolphins will not care any more, because we beat the caring right out of them). If you want a list of animals that yaff for fun, dolphins and snakes are the only mammmmmmmals that reached the top ten. The others do it as a hobby, like others commit armed robbery and knit baseball bats. I'm not wearing the pajamas with the footies, and I'm not alarming anyone about flea spray when it's just a precaution. (though I did see one flea that jumped ever so gingerly into the hair of a passerby, and then disappeared from sight, later to be seen on that same train by someone who should remain nameless and will until I figure out what happened that one night with the banana cane and the toyota cholera.) For someone who dreams of "jenie" with one eye open and the other placed in a jar of mayo, I can't believe that I would say "canker sore" out loud with open tongue. No regards for nothing here! These kids have a lot of nerve letting their gravy spill onto my placenta, and caking up a good mug shattering before "yip yip yip" comes out to play again. This hasn't happened before, thankfully, and shan't. | | Monday, November 30th, 2009 | | 6:19 pm |
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